I guess there's no getting around it...

I guess there's no getting around it...I still love my wife.

I still love you so very much.

When I married you I created heaven...and when I lost you I created hell.

My sponser once told me about recovery, "The good news is you get your feelings back, the bad news is you get your feelings back". How true, how true.

I look back at the beauty, warmth, and love you brought into my life and it is very hard not to believe that I was truely insane for doing the things that drove you away from me.

That is for me perhaps the most painful revelation of my alcoholism/addiction...that I had one of the most beautiful things in the world, you, and I gave it away.

I hope that somehow God's plan for my life includes bringing you back to me.

If not, I'll do my best to be happy, healthy, and strong and live the best life I can possibly live.

But if somehow, someway with God's help and blessing you come back into my life I'll thank God every day and do my best to honor, love, and respect you until the day I die.

I'm glad I'm getting my feelings back, I just wish this part of my life did not hurt so much.

When I think of the the pain and sadness I made you feel the pain cuts my soul. I ask God to forgive me and bring into your life all of the happiness, peace, and love that I could ever hope to have in my own life.

I love you...and I will forever...and I wish you all of the best in life.

How do you let someone go?

How do you let someone go?

How do you understand that that's alright, that everything changes?

How do you find a way for that to make you feel good about life instead of breaking your heart?

The hardest thing you'll ever learn is how to say good-bye.
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These aren't my words, I heard them somewhere.

But they very eloquently describe the situation I'm faced with and the feelings I'm experiencing.

I love my wife so very much, but right now I need to say good-bye...to let her go.

I love her so much that I want to do this for her.

But how do I find a way to do it without breaking my heart?

To do it without losing hope?

To do it and still feel good about my life.

I'm not sure, but I think the spirituality and relationship with God that I've found in sobriety thru Alcoholics Anonymous will help me.

I pray about it. I ask God to show me his will and give me the strength to carry it out.

And if saying good-bye and letting her go is his will, then that is what will do.

I won't stop loving her!

I won't stop being her friend!!

I'll help her raise and take care of our children!

I will do my best to live my life in a sober and thoughtful manner because that is the key to everything else.

Living sober will give me a chance to be a productive member of society, to earn a decent living and take care of my child support obligations, and to be there for my children.

It will give me the chance to help another alcoholic...and by doing so, help myself.

And by doing these things (and others) to live a happy, joyous life.

I won't stop hoping that God's plan will somehow give us another opportunity to be together.

But I will let her go. I'll say good-bye...maybe forever, maybe not.

But for now, I will say good-bye and trust that whatever happens will be for the best and will be God's will.

But saying good-bye to her and letting her go is one of the hardest things I have every done.

Because it is part of getting sober for this alcoholic...because it is God's will.