I love my wife so very much!

I love my wife so very much!!!

Even if I'm about to be only her ex-husband!

I've loved her with all my heart ever since our second date, dinner at I Richhi in Washington, D.C. I knew that night that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

And now my alcoholism has pushed her away for good. I've lost her and I'll never get her back.

How am I going to live without her?

How am I going to live with the knowledge of how I've hurt her?

I so regret what I've put her through and desperately want to make amends to her. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make things up to her in whatever capacity God allows me to have in her life. I wasn't the best husband I could have been so I'll just have to do my very best to be the best ex-husband I can. I pray God will give me the opportunity to have some small place in her life.

She is divorcing me and it is so ironic that I'm losing her right when I am finally starting to become the man [I think] she has always wanted me to be...sober, at peace with myself, at peace with the world, happy with what I have, and honest.

Above all, completely honest, 100% honest. I think honesty is what she always wanted from me more than anything else. I'm going to be honest with her and honest with myself for the rest of my days!

So I'll do my best to get well...to stay sober...and to rebuild my life. I think it to be the best way I can make amends to her for all I've put her through.

My dearest, I'm so sorry I broke your heart and betrayed your trust...I would do anything to make up for those mistakes.

I love my wife so very much!!!